The class assignment: Make your parent write an essay about you in 1 million words or less.

THE ESSAY:

There is a strange phenomenon in Crestwood when people learn my last name. The first question they always ask is: “Do you know Tatie Bright?”

The cashier at Gustavo’s, my phlebotomist, teachers, coaches, my green grocer; all are so glad they have discovered someone else that knows Tatie. Imagine their surprise when they discover that she is the fruit of my loins.

Not only do I know her, I made her!

Unfortunately, that is where our relationship peaks. Oddly enough, being Tatie’s Dad puts a lot of expectations on me. I am supposed to be funny, like her. Full of life, like her. A delight to all those who know me — just like her.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a pleasant enough fellow. I taught Tatie many things. I am twentythree percent responsible for her potty training, fifty-six percent responsible for her learning to ride a bike, and 100% responsible for her fabulous hair.

My own hair is a national treasure. It has its own Twitter account. Tate continues the family hair tradition, and will have long-flowing locks all the days of her life.

Every parent believes their child is above average. Believing so validates the parent. My child is special therefore, so am I.

Tatie knows exactly who she is. She is distinctly above-average in many ways, but the way that matters most is in the way she cares about other people. She is happier more often than she is sad. She is kind to others and embraces those that are the hardest to love. She makes others feel like they are distinctly above-average, and people who can do that, are the people who rule the world.